Nature unfurled its great tapestry on a huge and breathtaking scale. Vast savannahs bumped into alien forests, alive with creatures that would make you gasp.
Dragonflies the size of pigeons buzz through the low branches of majestic trees, seeking out smaller insects to snack upon. An incredibly cute hamster like critter, the size of a poodle, waddles delightedly across the forest floor, its paw steps beating out a rustling beat like a percussionist tapping their drum with a brush.
It almost looks like it’s smiling as it stops to sniff in the perfume of that huge blood-red flower.
Whooosh and it suddenly disappears in a flurry of petals and leaves.
WOAH, FUDGE ME!
DID. YOU. SEE. THAT?
A critter-eating flower!
And it was sooooo cute too and it never even had time to scream out when that nasty flower thing ate it. I wonder if the florist in town stocks those? Mrs Forclift’s always saying she wishes I’d buy her flowers.
Whoa, what was that? Did that sound like a scream?
Coming from…over there? No, over there. Another scream. Definitely a scream this time.
And another one. A scream that is.
And…silence.
Oh no, a fourth scream. Over there again.
He’d never believed his heart could beat even faster, yet it was, and he knew this would not end well.
Gary wouldn’t pretend he was a great physicist. Few ancient primates of the Miocene period were. But, being an occupational hazard for all Victoriapithecus macinnesi, he knew plenty about the dangers of falling from height.
Why, only last year, late uncle Wayne fell from a banan
Crack crump.
Earlier, but not much.
Roger, Jeff and Gary were almost there. A few more branch swings and they’d be stood at the top of Peregrine’s Pillar, the tall, ancient rock stack, now surrounded by the forest canopy.
It’s called Peregine’s Pillar, because it’s the home of Peregrine, the king of this tribe of Victoriapithecus macinnesi, and his queen, Karen. In their role as leaders of this tribe, they got to live in the finest and most prestigious place in the whole of this part of the forest.
They’d made it and Roger, Jeff and Gary were jealous. They wanted to make it instead. Hence their journey to the top of Peregrine’s Pillar in the middle of Peregrine’s post-lunch snooze.
It’s time for a new king.
Roger was the first to land on the pillar, followed closely by Jeff and Gary. Close to the centre of the pillar top, a snoring Peregrine lay prone on his back, his resting queen at his side.
No time for doubt, Roger raced forward and started rolling Peregrine towards the edge. It took a moment for Peregine to register that he was physically rolling, rather than just dreaming he was rolling.
Had the pillar been larger, that might have offered him enough time to respond and save himself.
The pillar wasn’t larger.
Crump crack.
The scream had barely died when Roger turned to face Jeff, Gary and the now-awake Karen.
“The king is dead, kneel before your new king.”
“Erm, Roger,” said Jeff, “I thought we’d agreed that I was going to be the new king.”
“Well, yes, we had kinda discussed that, but that was before I pushed Peregrine off the pillar.”
“I see, so the person who pushes the old king off the pillar automatically becomes the new king?”
“Exactlaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhh” screamed the now falling Roger.
Crack crump.
As Jeff turned to face his new subjects he started his first sentence as the new king.
“The king is dead, long live thaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.”
Crump crack.
Gary hadn’t really ever thought about becoming king. Being brutally honest, he didn’t feel he had the personal qualities or self-confidence for such a role, but Roger and Jeff had shown him just how easy it was.
What true friends they had been to him. He even felt a bit guilty about shoving Jeff in the back now. Oh well.
So here he was, atop Peregrine’s, no wait, Gary’s Pillar, the new king of the tribe.
“The king is dead, long live the king,” said Karen, stepping forward towards Gary.
He made to say something, but she softly placed the tip of a finger on his lips and held it there for a moment as their eyes locked.
Then the finger lightly traced a path across his cheek and down his strong jawline, before drawing a line down his neck to nestle in the hair of his powerful chest.
Gary’s heart was beating faster than he could have ever imagined possible. He’d always had a soft spot for Karen, though that didn’t seem the right word just now. However, Victoriapithecus macinnesis language was still very much a work in progress and they hadn’t yet agreed on an antonym for soft.
Surely Karen could feel his excitement through the tip of her finger. Although the tip of her finger that had been resting over his heart had now turned into the palm of her hand.
The shove in his chest caught Gary utterly by surprise and in the blink of an eye he switched from falling in love with Karen to just falling.
Crack as Gary’s skull impacted the rocky ground, lightly splintering his skull at first and then caving it in completely.
Crump as his already dead corpse thudded into the ground mere milliseconds later.
“The king is dead, long live the queen” smiled Karen, back at the top of Karen’s Column.
“Now what?” thought Karen. As the only one left from what had been a tribe of almost 50 just a few weeks ago, the position of queen didn’t seem so great all of a sudden.
The tribe had formed as a way of giving strength and security to all the members. Then over time, the strongest had risen to the top of the social scale and the other tribe members had become jealous of them.
And then the deaths started. Nothing out in the open. An unexpected fall here, a surprising poisoning there and someone would rise up the social scale to fill the newly vacant position at the top of their society.
So now she was the last one standing in her tribe of one.
“I have to say,” said Karen to no-one, “if I had a great philosophic mind, I might consider this to be a frightfully poor societal template for our species to move forward with, but of course, I’m just a Victoriapithecus macinnesi, so bananas, bananas, bananas!”
I have to say, Karen pretty well nailed it there.
The bit about it seeming a poor societal template that is, not the bananas, bananas, bananas bit.
In relatively small societies, having those lower down the social scale feeling jealous of those above them would lead to no end of trouble and make a functioning society impossible.
Societies need leadership, so there’s always going to be a small number with disproportionate power and prestige. That’s the way it has to be. Our nature doesn’t allow the idealism of socialism to become reality.
That’s surely why, over who knows how many years, centuries or millennia, our ancestors developed to avoid the problems Karen, Gary, Jeff and Roger experienced.
Individuals came to accept their place in their societies and worked for the greater good of those societies. Because these larger groups offered greater security to all members, it was in the best interests of all.
The problem for us as a species is that time and things have changed. Chimpanzees may still commonly live in troops of up to 80 members, but human societies have grown to huge sizes. Counted in terms of millions or even billions of people.
Whereas the loss of a few key individuals could spell doom and collapse for a Chimpanzee troop, we have societies that can cope with the loss of millions or tens of millions of individuals without society breaking its stride.