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But Troy, let’s return to your use of the word ‘foreigner’ which you seem to see as a bad thing when the foreigner in question is living in Everything quite legally, contributing to our society, creating jobs for Everythingers and conducting a completely legal business. Yet you and the People’s Party fall over yourselves to welcome poor, illegal immigrants into Everything, even killers and rapists. You lot all seem to be navigating by an odd moral compass.
And you wonder why everyone calls the National Party the nasty party?
No, not at all, I’m pretty sure that’s down to our policies.
And perhaps your claim that the Macouti immigrant community in Bungleaze has turned many of the local teenage girls into zombie sex slaves. It’s just a thought, but that might seem a bit nasty to some people.
Are you seriously suggesting that bringing this outrage to the attention of the national media is a bad thing, Troy? The local authorities are doing absolutely nothing to stop this zombie sex trade, but then it’s a People’s Party city, so, no surprise there then.
They’re not doing anything about it because the whole sick fantasy has been made up.
I saw a documentary about it. The film-makers followed a young immigrant called Rickie who kept a deadgirl sex slave in the basement of an old mental asylum. You can deny it all you want, but it’s real. And what about the disgusting alien prawns living like primitive animals in District 9? Don’t tell me you haven’t seen that documentary, they’re horrible things and we shouldn’t have anything to do with them. Oh, and don’t get me onto the subject of that chilling documentary, How To Train Your Dragon. I bet you think we should be opening our borders to dragons and letting them live among us, potentially burning us to death every time one of them burps.
Hugo, those aren’t documentaries, they’re feature films.
You say that, but they look pretty convincing to me.
Really? The dragon one’s an animation!
But the dragon looks just like the real thing. Oh, it doesn’t matter anyway, the important thing isn’t what’s in these documentaries, it’s the fact that you and your party are betraying your own voters on immigration.
Of course we’re not, our policies on immigration are exactly what Everythingers want us to do.
Assuming you still believe in democracy, isn’t the idea that politicians carry out the wishes of the voters?
Obviously.
Recent polls have found that 78% of Everythingers consider the immigrant situation on the Everything/Klumbus border to be a major problem and 55% favor less immigration into our country, compared to 25% who are happy for it to remain at current levels.
Hang on, you’re getting cute with numbers there, Hugo. If 55% want less immigration, that means that 45% don’t have a problem with the current level or would even like to see it increased. You focused on the 25% figure specifically to make the divide appear more stark.
But surely you either believe in democracy or you don’t. Democracy is about doing the will of the majority. 55% is the majority. The majority want less immigration into Everything, yet you and your People’s Party persist in defending the current situation, ignoring those that you claim to represent. Clearly, when it comes to immigration, the National Party is the one that’s listening to the voters.
I could argue that you’re the ones driving the fear over immigration with your claims that illegal aliens are actual aliens and that we’re in favor of dragons coming to live among us. The reality is that Everything is signed up to international agreements for dealing with refugees and, unlike you, we take our country’s responsibilities seriously.
And here we go, you’re referring to the 4107 Refugee Convention and the later 4123 Protocol, of course. Neither are particularly recent agreements are they. It’s 74 years since the first one and that came about in the aftermath of Woppoff War 2 and, despite that being a global conflict, was most specifically targeting the refugee crisis that was still enveloping the continent of Dotardia in the wake of Edith Blitzen’s attempts at genocide in the old world. So explain to me, Troy, how that agreement is still relevant to our world today, the best part of a century later, with the vast changes that our societies have been through across that time?
The agreements were designed to protect refugees and grant every single one of them protection and sanctuary when such security is denied to them within their home country. They’re still relevant today as refugees across the world are still seeking those protections. They’re arguably even more relevant today as the number of refugees seeking protection outside their home countries is greater than ever.
But are they really refugees, Troy? If all they wanted was security and protection from persecution, then surely they would seek such help in the first suitable country they reach, yet many of your so-called refugees travel halfway around the world to demand ‘protection’ from Everything. That’s the crux of the problem we face in this new world of ours. Many, perhaps most, of the immigrants demanding our protection aren’t refugees, but just want the opportunity to steal the wealth of Everythingers. Rather than fleeing from oppression, most of your immigrants are racing to steal Everythingers’ jobs and you won’t do anything to protect our native population, even when the majority want us to reduce the levels of immigration. It’s economic immigration pure and simple.
So if a parent comes to Everything because their child needs medical care that isn’t affordable for the poor in their home country, you could class that as economic immigration, though you could also say that means that the child isn’t able to receive the care and security they need in their home country and so they could also be classed as a refugee.
Yawn, sorry I missed that, Troy.
Don’t worry, it’s a moot point anyway. You don’t care about the status of immigrants. As far as you’re concerned, none are refugees and they’re all here to steal our jobs, even though most of those jobs are low-paid, physically demanding jobs that Everythingers don’t want to do. What we in the People’s Party say is that we must honor our commitments to protect the rights of refugees.
Why? No-one ever asked me if I wanted Everything to sign up to the 4107 Refugee Convention. I was just a child at the time, so why should I have to honor someone else’s agreement? You weren’t even born when the 4123 Protocol was agreed, so why do you feel any obligation to honor those agreements? Why should any Everythinger alive today be seen as having any obligation, legal, moral or otherwise, to agreements from many decades ago that they never agreed to? The world has changed immensely since they were signed. The only important thing that we need to know is that 55% of Everythingers want fewer immigrants coming into our country and any agreements signed decades ago are nothing more than ancient history and irrelevant to what Everythingers want today. My duty and your duty should be to today’s Everythingers, not last century’s, so why do you insist on ignoring them?
Because it’s the right thing to do. Isn’t it?
So will you stand up in front of the voters and tell them that you support immigrants overrunning the country and taking their jobs because it’s the right thing to do? I bet I could get you live on Dox News in 60 seconds from now. Shall I make the call, Troy?
No, don’t, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. I’m actually a little conflicted about the immigration issue right now. Yes, perhaps we do need to change how we think about immigration and particularly refugees, given how the world has changed so dramatically. Yet, I do speak to many voters and they also express compassion for the plight of many of those who are seeking safety for themselves and their families in Everything.
The compassionate ones will be the ones who don’t see their jobs and futures being stolen from them. It’s not so easy for the ones experiencing absolute poverty to feel so welcoming.
But immigrants aren’t the ones making them poor. You are. We The People are the ones who are stealing all of the wealth of Everything. You’re just using immigrants to distract the losers from seeing the truth. It was always We The People stealing from the losers. Decades ago, you were the ones who took the jobs of Everythingers and gave them to workers in other countries who were happy to work harder for lower wages.
You can’t blame us for Everythingers being lazy and greedy. They were the ones who didn’t want to work 12-hour days, six days a week and wanted wages that would allow them to buy luxuries, not just food and a roof over their head. But we’ve discovered workers overseas are just as lazy and greedy, so we’re going to bring those jobs back and give them back to Everythingers.
You’re only talking about bringing these jobs back now because it turns out that those cheap and enthusiastic workers weren’t as stupid as you thought they were. They weren’t just working for you, they were learning from you and working out how to make your products without you. They stole your knowledge and now they don’t need you to make better products more cheaply. You’ve been outplayed by those countries that seemed to be letting you walk all over them, when they were actually playing the long game. But this is just typical of short-sighted capitalists who only care about making an easy profit today and damn the costs tomorrow. The monkey would have seen this coming and had a plan.
Maybe we hired the monkey as a consultant and he gave us a great plan. Maybe we always knew the foreign workers would grow out of us and try to steal our markets for themselves. And maybe we always knew that when it happened, we would use tariffs to make their products more expensive so that our products remain competitively priced. Maybe we’re not so stupid and maybe your monkey is actually one of We The People.
We The Monkeys, surely?
I’m starting to think if I was offering you an opportunity to join We The Monkeys, you’d jump at it, but the offer on the table is to join with us, We The People, Troy. We can talk about the rights and wrongs of the past as much as you like, but you’re not going to change it. The question I’m wondering is if you’ve worked out now that you’ve no way to change the present or the future either?